18+ Inappropriate Welcome Mats for Your Guests

The products below are hilarious and are not meant to be taken seriously. Upon reading reviews for these products, most of them are extremely thin and can’t even be used for an actual doormat. These embarrassing novelty doormats may not be suitable to use for an actual doormat, but they can bring a laugh out of people when you purchase them as housewarming, birthday, wedding, graduation, and anniversary gifts. Featuring funny phrases and pictures, these are 20 embarrassing novelty doormats that might even give you ideas on how to make your own, or cure your internet boredom and give you a little laugh.

“Hippity Hoppity Get Off My Property” Doormat

A frog saying hippity hoppity, that’s cute, it could be cute in front of your front door! This is another novelty doormat for the anti-social people, maybe even for the frog lovers. I’m sure after the knock is done laughing about the cute and corny doormat, they will then retreat and get off of your property because a doormat has told them to do so. At first when you see the phrase, “Hippity Hoppity Get Off My Property” you might think of bippity boppity as in the fairy on Cinderella, but they took that thought and created this doormat for my fellow anti-social human beings!

Funny Doormat “No Pricks Allowed”

This doormat is both stylish and corny. Featuring a cactus with the phrase “No Picks Allowed”. There is a wide variety of cactus decor for your home, what better to pair it with than this doormat? Feisty but cute, the pricks are sure to be driven away after reading this doormat when they go to knock on your door.

“But Did You Call?” Doormat

Many people don’t like when anybody shows up at their door unannounced, whether it be family members, or even their close friends. Are you one of these people or do you know one of these people? The “Did you call?” doormat may be the best doormat option for you!

Purchase this novelty doormat as a gift for one of your family members or friends, but DON’T SHOW UP UNANNOUNCED because that’s really not cool. This doormat can be useful to you by telling those unwanted unannounced visitors that you mean business! Nobody likes it when they are half awake and they have someone knocking on their door wanting them to do things or go somewhere. JUST CALL FIRST!

“Doorbell Broken Yell ‘Ding Dong’ Really Loud” Funny Doormat

Have you ever wondered which one of your family members, neighbors or friends are the funniest of the bunch? Purchase this “Doorbell Broken Yell ‘Ding Dong’ Really Loud” novelty doormat to find out which people will actually follow these hilarious instructions. Just don’t forget what those instructions were when you have random people yelling out “Ding Dong” outside of your door.

“Don’t Step On My Wiener” Funny Doormat

This novelty doormat features a weiner dog, and says “Don’t step on my weiner.” Although only select genders actually have wieners, any gender can use this hilarious doormat in front of their door to get a laugh out of themselves and whoever goes to step on their weiner.

Maybe you know a person that would genuinely love placing this doormat in front of their door because their sense of humor is goofy and out of this world, purchase this as a gift for that person you know and don’t step on their wiener when you drop by for a visit!

“Go Away” Nonslip Welcome Doormat

Some people are just plain grinches and don’t like other people at all. Are you a grinch or do you know someone that has this grinch-like quality? The “Go Away.” novelty doormat may be the right choice for you then! This doormat is sure to stop those door knockers right in their tracks when they look down to see what is said, unless it’s your parents or children we can’t help you there.

“Good Morning, I See The Assassins Have Failed” Doormat

This novelty doormat is for a bit of a darker sense of humor with its phrase, “Good Morning, I See The Assassins Have Failed”. It is telling whoever knocks on your door that you hate them but love them. Don’t necessarily want it at your front door? You can place this hilarious, dark humored doormat in front of your office door so your boss gets a kick out of it every time he/she comes in to give you more work to do.

“Hold On We’re Probably Not Wearing Pants” Doormat

Ah.. The honeymoon stage where a couple is usually never caught wearing pants in the privacy of their own home, well to be honest they are probably not wearing much of anything. Maybe you and your partner have exceeded that honeymoon stage but still choose to enjoy yourselves while naked, this novelty doormat is for you!

Featuring the phrase “Hold On We’re Probably Not Wearing Pants”, it is sure to make your door knockers want to wait a minute before continuing to knock again.

“B*tch Don’t Wear No Shoes In My House” Doormat

Ugh I just hate when people are inconsiderate about the cleanliness of your home by wearing their muddy, dirty shoes in your house all over your beige carpets. Having this novelty doormat with the phrase “B*tch Don’t Wear No Shoes In My House” could be just the right doormat you need in front of your door.

Neighbors, family members, friends and even police officers need to respect your need to be clean. In some cases, you may just want to deal with the dirty carpet though, some of those people might have feet that need to be left in shoes or your eyes are going to water.

“Come Back With A Warrant” Doormats

Speaking of police officers, this novelty doormat says it all with the hilarious phrase of “Come Back With A Warrant”. Even if there isn’t a police officer at your door, having this doormat is basically saying that you better have a d*mn good reason for knocking. Be careful with the men in blue, they may go get a warrant because their sense of humor is non existent.

“Unless You Have Tacos Tequila Girl Scout Cookies Or My Amazon Package Go Away” Doormat

Who doesn’t love tacos, tequila, girl scout cookies, and Amazon packages? Nobody interesting, that’s who. This novelty doormat featuring the phrase, “Unless You Have Tacos Tequila Girl Scout Cookies Or My Amazon Package Go Away” might be just the doormat for you if you aren’t a people person but don’t mind social interactions in the case of having any of those things. Buy this for that one friend you have that’s anti-social.

“Definitely Not A Crack House” Doormat

I’m not sure if the doormat that says, “Definitely Not A Crack House” would be funnier if it was a crack house or not. ‘Either way, if you want to be incognito with your crack house, or you want to just make people laugh with your doormat, this novelty doormat could be just right for you!

I’m not one to judge but might I suggest a better suited doormat for an actual crack house would be “On The Rock” with a designed crack between the “The” and the “Rock”.

“I Like It Dirty” Doormat

This novelty doormat is simple and to the point with a tad bit of humor with its phrase, “I Like It Dirty”. There’s nothing wrong with liking it dirty, and there is certainly nothing wrong with having a dirty sense of humor and mind. Even if this doesn’t get the laugh out of your friends, neighbors and family that you had hoped it would, it is sure to make the Jehovah’s witness think twice before knocking on your door.

Doormat “Come Back With Tacos (And Margaritas)”

Again.. Everybody loves tacos, I don’t care who you are. Margaritas are a required taste only for the classy. If you or someone you know is classy and enjoys tacos as well, this novelty doormat stating “Come Back With Tacos (And Margaritas)” may be just the novelty doormat you were hoping to find! It not only tells the person knocking that they are required to bring you back tacos and possibly margaritas if they wish to enter your home.

“Please Go The Fuck Away” Doormat

A little bit of class mixed with a little bit of foul mouthed sass, this novelty doormat states, “Please Go The F*ck Away” and it is just the one you may need. A lot of people aren’t very social nowadays, they don’t like socializing and they just want to be left the f*ck alone.

You can’t blame them, socializing takes a lot of energy. Are you one of those people that just don’t want to deal with others? Well slap this sucker in front of your door and that’s sure to make anybody who plans to knock think twice before making you into that social butterfly that you seriously don’t want to be.

“Beware of Wiggle Butts” Doormat

Yes, there are even embarrassing novelty doormats for the dog lovers. We all know that our dogs have that wiggle butt going on when they are excited! Dog parents may appreciate this door-warming gift, or you may even be looking to purchase it for your dog mom/dad self! With a phrase and warning like “Beware of Wiggle Butts” along with the featured paw prints that this doormat has, lets the knocker know that they may be in for some doggone excited fur babies.

“Ring The Doorbell and Let Me Sing You The Song of My People – The Dog” Doormat

Speaking of fur babies, this super cute and funny doormat may be right up your dog’s alley! We all know that man’s best friends just love to bark, be it a friend, family member, or neighbor knocking on your door or just a leaf blowing by.

The phrase, “Ring The Doorbell and Let Me Sing You The Song of My People – The Dog” might allow your knocker some time to cover their ears before hearing your dog’s obnoxious barking when they dare to knock on your door or ring the doorbell. It might be even funnier if you don’t even have a dog.

Doormat “Ask Not for Whom The Dog Barks It Barks For Thee”

The phrase, “Ask Not for Whom The Dog Barks It Barks For Thee” sounds like it has a little bit of a biblical/historical wording mixed with some humor. Again, dogs bark, they bark a lot. Barking is just a dog’s way of voicing their opinion or expressing their feelings in a doggy way! This novelty doormat would make a great gift for your grandma that has replaced her children with fur babies. If you are that grandma and want to purchase it for yourself, my apologies.

“Pull The Lever Kronk” Funny Doormat

We’re just going to assume that this novelty doormat is for the movie lovers, especially the movie lovers that love the movie ‘Emperor’s New Groove’ that came out in the year 2000. Yzma (voiced by Eartha Kitt) says this to her all too willing to obey henchman Kronk (voiced by Patrick Warburton) at one point in this movie. If you do happen to purchase this doormat because you are a lover of the film, don’t be too offended when the knocker doesn’t get the joke.

“The Grass Is Greener Under My Wiener” Dog Doormat

This doormat features yet another weiner dog with the phrase, “The Grass Is Greener Under My Weiner”. If you like cheesy and corny humor this novelty doormat is the right one for you. Poor dachshunds are always part of a joke somewhere, now they’re a part of a joke on front porches everywhere. I personally don’t find this very funny, but somebody somewhere obviously does and maybe that person is you.

18+ Inappropriate Welcome Mats for Your Guests
Scroll to top