Well, guys if you like to cook, clean, do crafts, and cut meat products then you’re going to need an apron. Yes, dude. They do make aprons for the male species. This is a part of the modern world of gender equality. Just accept it and move on. Even though guys are now expected to wear aprons, that doesn’t mean that they have to suck. Here is a list of 20 funny aprons for men. These aprons provide the right amount of humor and wit to make wearing an apron a cool and funny thing.
1. I’ll Feed All You Valentines
Okay, even though see the phrase “I’ll Feed All You Valentines” for this apron it actually translates to: “I’ll Feed All You F-CKERS”. This apron will definitely make you the life of the barbecue or it will incite a summertime backyard brawl. It has lots of pocket for utensils such as tongs for gripping your manly meat, a spatula for flipping your meaty burgers, and a large pointy fork for poking your chicken. The apron is black with white words and it’s made out of heavy-duty cotton. By the way, the black apron is good at hiding dirt, grime, and barbecue grill smokiness. This unique apron measures 27 by 29 inches long and it features an adjustable neck strap. It even has a 45-inch waist strap which means it is big enough to cover large and flabby beer guts. This apron is best suited for men, but some brave ladies can wear it too. We just caution you not to wear this apron when you invite over the in-laws, homeless people, or a group of bikers.
2. Funny Apron Men Adjustable Pockets
This apron seems like it has a phrase that says: “Funny Apron Men Adjustable Pockets”. But in reality the message states: “I Like My Butt Rubbed And My Pork Pulled”. Okay, as you can see this particular apron provides a unique message that will touch the hearts and minds of any person that sees it. First, we’re going to provide an analysis of this apron. When a man wears an apron that states “I like my butt rubbed and my pork pulled” well, you know how the rest of the night will probably turn out. You’ll probably be playing some off the wall cooking game involving spatulas, butter knives, and a salad tosser. This apron is black which means the color is durable and it is made out of cotton and it has a dual pocket system. Guys can hide forks, large spoons, and measuring cups in these specialized pockets. The apron is large enough to cover big and tall guys and it makes a great gift for serious chefs or sexy male barbecue hosts.
3. Once You Put Meat Boyfriend
Once You Put My Meat In Your Mouth You’re Gonna Want to Swallow. This apron is the type you wear when you are on a date with a woman you have been with for a very long time. If you wear this apron under any other circumstance; you are asking for immediate beat down by many male guests and you also run the risk of your female guests leaving your party. However, some guys will stick around because of the novelty and humor and some freaky women will like the message. Guys, the key to wearing this apron is knowing your audience. The meat to mouth apron is also durable. It has a black color, white words, and it is made out of cotton. It too has an adjustable strap to fit different body sizes. Here’s a tip. Take your wife on a trip to a far away place. Wear nothing but this apron and you’re guaranteed to have a raunchy good time with the love of your life.
4. Bout Slap Meat Your Grill
If I ever went to a cookout and saw a guy wearing a “I’m Bout To Slap My Meat On Your Grill” trust me when I say, I will not be eating any hotdogs, sausages, or beefy products, if I decide to stick around. This apron is truly a funny and light-hearted cooking garment. It is made out cotton and it has white lettering. The unit even allows a meat slapper to contain their utensils. Just remember you don’t want to wear this apron when you’re entertaining young kids. They might get the wrong idea and start yelling stranger danger. The next thing you know you’re jail with that apron on standing next to Big Bubba; and he just can’t wait for you to host the next barbecue cookout on the yard. This apron is best suited for that woman you been dating, and you know that she wants you. This will send the perfect message.
5. Never Trust Skinny Chef Adjustable
The Never Trust A Skinny Chef apron pokes fun at skinny people who cook. It basically states that a skinny chef simply is not a good cook. If they were, they would be big and robust. This apron is made for skinny or large-sized people. It is black, made from cotton, and can be worn by both sexes. However, skinny guys can wear this apron comfortably while they cook dinner for their family, clean the house for their spouse, or perform an odd job. This apron is also good for special time for mommy and daddy on their date night.
6. EZ Drinker Accessory Beverages Camouflage
The EZ Drinker Accessory Beverages Camouflage apron is designed to hold your beer, condiments, and utensils. This simply means that if you’re a chef, that likes to get drunk while you cook, while supplying ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise to your guests; then you need to wear this apron. It has multiple pockets and best of all it has a camouflage design. This means that you can hide in the bushes while you sneak a couple of drinks in, during your outdoor barbecue bash. No one will find you once you blend in with the environment. Then, you can come out of camouflage mode like the Predator; and continue to cook your barbecue brisket with a buzz. This apron has 8 pockets, is made out of camo fabric (there is such a thing), and it fits different body sizes.
7. BBQ Grill Apron Opinion Adjustable
Are you a sensitive cook? Do you hate it when people criticize your food? Then this apron is just for you. It is known as the “Your Opinion Wasn’t in the Recipe” apron. This is a great barbecue apron that is easy to wear, very protective, and it helps your rude guests to keep their opinions (about your food) to themselves. Remember, you make the best barbecue in the world and absolutely nobody can do it better than you. This apron simply reminds people of this deluded truth. After all, everybody thinks they are the best cooks in the world and having an apron like this on proves your point!
8. Funny Apron Men Looking Boyfriend
Ladies who have a husband or boyfriend that they adore can purchase him the “Mr. Good Looking is Cooking” apron. He can put this apron on when she wants him to cook or clean while she sits around watching. He can wear a baseball cap turned backwards, some sweat socks, and a man thong while he personally prepares her food. She will lust after and adore her man while he flexes his cooking muscles in this apron. It is made out of durable cotton and it has adjustable straps. There are pockets on the unit for holding utensils or massage oils for a lady’s body. This apron is designed to fit different man sizes.
9. Cooking Pockets Included Durable Professional
HOT STUFF COMING THROUGH AND I DON’T MEAN THE FOOD. This is the message on an apron that is black with red and white lettering. It has two big pockets on the front and can withstand lots of use. This apron is cool to wear at family functions or entertaining conservative friends. The light-hearted message will be adored and thought of as cute. A wife and husband can buy matching aprons with each other and amaze their guests with how connected they are. This apron is truly a buzz kill but it will definitely get some heads turning and people will chuckle. Why? Cause once you put it on, you will be considered “Hot Stuff”.
10. ApronMen Bearded Apron Apron Adjustable
The “Fear the Bearded Chef” apron is a great chef garment for manly cooks. Most people don’t like guys with big beards preparing their food. However, when a bearded dude bro puts on this apron, their opinion about him will change. They will immediately recognize that he worthy of preparing food and he won’t get his nasty beard hairs in the potato salad or the punch bowl. This apron features three bearded chefs on the front, white letterhead, and it is big enough for robust guys with beards. This is a great piece of cooking equipment for fellas that don’t like to shave.
11. Aprons Men Pockets Christmas Boyfriend
If you’re reading this bring me a cold beer. This apron is designed for drinkers and for guys on the verge of being alcoholics. This apron is also great for frat boys and for people who work in bars. People who go to bars can wear this apron in hopes of getting some free beer from someone who finds the apron funny. The apron is large enough to cover the beer gut, has pockets big enough to hold beer cans and it can be used to clean up throw up after a person has drank too much. This makes a great party gift for any guy that likes to toss them back.
12. Nomsum Premium Quality Kitchen Accessories
Star Wars is a part of modern culture and if you’re a Star Wars fan you need to have the “May the Forks be with You” apron. This apron will immediately remind people of the importance of Star Wars and how they can use the force to cook food and serve guests. You can even wear a Darth Vader or Storm Trooper helmet while you prepare the meal. People will look at you like your insane, but that’s okay. Once they see the apron, they’ll quickly understand that you’re only expressing your love of the Empire while you cook their scrumptious meal. This apron is made out of cotton, has plenty of room to fit most body sizes, and it has pockets for cooking ware.
13. AIFAMY Grilling Christmas Elephant Exchange
The Funny Men Cooking Grilling Aprons Belly is not your usual apron. This apron is white, but it has something disturbing on the front. It has a full-length body picture of a naked hairy white male with a beer gut and his penis hanging out. Now, I’m going to strongly warn you not to wear this apron around church members, your kid’s teachers, or the police. You’re just sending the wrong message. Seriously don’t do it. Most people just don’t want to see a hairy white male body (with a dangling penis) while they’re eating some bratwurst, coleslaw, or roasted tube steak. The apron doesn’t have pockets because it will take away from the amazing full-frontal nudity presented on the front. You will literally piss people off by wearing this apron at a social function. Actually, maybe that’s what you should do if you don’t like the people that are attending your get-together.
14. JayCee GRILLIN CHILLINs Cross Back Quick Release
The JAYCEE GRILLIN & CHILLIN’s Chef, Hobby and Workshop w/Gray and Black US Flag apron. This is a sensible apron for sensible guys that like to cook sensibly. The apron is durable, rugged, and has black and gray decal of the American flag on the front. You can wear it at your local 4th of July barbecue to inspire that patriotic spirit or wear it on Memorial Day to let people know that the summer fun is about to begin. This is a great apron for guys who like to make barbecue, entertain guests, and have a good time.
15. All Prime Outlet Universal Adjustable
The Joe Exotic Tiger King Inspired apron is now a popular piece for modern cooks. Tiger King was a big hit during the 2020 pandemic. Many people tuned in to watch. Now, a dude can wear Tiger King on their chest while they cook. A guy won’t have to make “tiger burgers” or whip up some “tiger salad” to go with it, but they will definitely be able to “cook like a tiger” while roaring “like a beast”. This apron doesn’t have any pockets, but it does have a fantastic picture of Tiger King on the front. If this manly big cat handling dude is your hero, then this apron is definitely for you.
16. UP MOMENT Grill Apron Funny
“WHY YOU ALL UP IN MY GRILL” is an eloquent saying that is often quoted within many urban settings. This phrase simply informs people that they should not mess with another man’s grill. You and I both know that a man’s grill is like his car, his dog, his tools, his daughter, and his woman. Yea, I put it in that order for obvious reasons. No seriously, you can wear this grill to keep food critics and irritating party guests in their place. After all YOU’RE THE CHEF and no one should question what you’re doing with your meat or grub. This apron has pockets, and it is a one size fits all model.
17. StarGifts Comfortable Practical Accessories Grilling
“I Like Big Butts” is a motto that many men have been expressing toward women with juicy rear ends. It’s also a motto for guys that like rump roast as well. This apron features a sectioned pig on the front with the phrase I Like Big Butts. The apron is black with white lettering and is a one size fits all model. This will definitely help women to get comfortable at your cookout and some of them will enjoy the message you’re conveying. Heck, this apron might even make the ladies like your food even if they really think it’s nasty.
18. APRON DADDY Funny BBQ Apron
If you saw a guy wearing a black apron with a fork poking upward into a sausage with a phrase that said “MY MEAT IS 100% GOING IN YOUR MOUTH TODAY”; how would you respond? Seriously? Would you stick around to see if that is going to happen. I personally wouldn’t. Now, if you wear this apron to a cookout that you are sponsoring make sure you have the police and emergency services on standby. Some guy’s girlfriend might get excited after seeing you in this apron and really try to put your meat into her mouth. Her boyfriend will then become angry and ready to smash your meat. So be aware of when you wear this apron. However, this is another apron that you can put on in front of your wife or girlfriend for some private fun.
19. Savvy Designs Aprons Men Adjustable
The Grill Father, A BBQ You Can’t Refuse apron is a play on the phrase “The Godfather, I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse”. This is an apron for mafia guys, gangsters, and duded that want to be tough. You can wear this apron at your next tough guy cookout. This apron has two large pockets for gunpowder meat seasoning and for hiding your guns and knives. This is definitely the type of apron you want to wear when you’re grilling for the don and your mafioso friends.
20. Grill Sergeant Utility Pockets Adjustable
The Grill Sergeant Utility apron is a great cooking garment for men. It has 4 adjustable pockets and a large strap for big guys. Dudes that wear this apron will be prepared for grilling combat against the forces of barbecue ribs, steaks, and chicken. People will immediately recognize your cooking rank in this apron and solute your awesome cooking style. You will be able to get your guests ready for some good eating action while you spot this apron. It is black but it also comes in different colors such as red, blue, and camouflage. This is a great man apron that can be comfortably worn to many cookouts and within many kitchens.